Time To Upgrade and Downsize

April 16, 2009 at 2:43 AM | Posted in Brain Crack | Leave a comment

We need to stop making CDs. Artists need to release their music on flash drives. Why? Because I said so. They’re fun. They have tiny LEDs in them. The things are getting cheaper and cheaper to produce. It’s substantially less plastic to manufacture. They are their own packaging, like soda cans. They can be customized into awesome shapes. Players for them would be cheaper than CD systems. They can already automatically be in MP3 format with no need to convert. They can contain surround or higher than CD quality audio. They can feature extras. They can hold an almost limitless amount of tracks. They could contain entire boxed sets, upping sales and decreasing material costs. They take up very little shelf space. They don’t get scratched or worn out. Most importantly, you can fit 30 standard flash drives in the same space that 2 regular CD jewel cases take up. 30 albums, people.

The only problem I can see would be store packaging, so you can see some artwork and tracklistings. This could be done with CD-sized cardboard, which you can then throw away (it’s biodegrable) or recycle (and it’s already recycled paper). Once you buy it, the artwork, liner notes, track names, lyrics and extras would all be on the drive. One side of the drive could have enough space for a tracklisting in a small font if desired by the artist. The spines would list the album and artist. The other side could have graphics. Another obstacle to solve is the end cap, which many people would lose. Beyond that, it’s the failsafe future of music.

CD production must cease immediately. If the industry does not buy Lexvaderco flash drives, I will kill a kitten on the hour, every hour, for as long as CDs are still being made. You have your instructions. Until next time.

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