Break-Up Button

October 16, 2009 at 4:08 PM | Posted in Brain Crack | Leave a comment

I had this idea for websites like MySpace, Facebook, or whatever… called a break-up button. See, when someone drops out of your life without warning and decides they’re not going to speak to you anymore, and blocks you on every site they use, and you can’t defend yourself or say your peace or say goodbye or anything, you hit the break-up button. And you get one message to say whatever you need to say to the person before they leave you stranded forever. And it stays at the top of their inbox and they can’t delete it, for like… a month or something. So you can tell them you think it’s bullshit that they would ignore you like this, promise them flowers, or whatever. Because ignoring someone completely is the worst thing you can do, and it’s way too easy over the internet. Those who do it have probably never had it done to them by anyone they care about. And everybody deserves a last word.

So I’d like to use my break-up button for my popularity, which has been ignoring me lately. Popularity, you don’t know what you’re missing. We could have had a good thing. But no, you decided to go with Balloon Boy instead. I hope you feel really bad about it, because you know what? I haven’t done WAY more interesting things than that kid hasn’t done. But you will never know that. And I don’t care, because if Balloon Boy is what you want, then you were never as great as you seemed anyway. I hope you’re very happy together. Don’t bother crawling back to me any time soon, because I’m going out with Apathy now, and she never lets me down.

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