DVD Reviews #3: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2-Disc Special Edition) (2009)

January 22, 2010 at 11:19 AM | Posted in Based on a Book, DVD Reviews, Fantasy, Franchise Film | 1 Comment

“Ginny, oh my God! Not here!”

This is the first time I saw the movie, and the second one that I had read the book of first. So I realized what was missing and thought it shouldn’t have been missing. Just having Tonks and Lupin be together without any fuss is a bit lame. I get it. They’re not important. Not showing at least half of the memories was lame. I get it, Voldemort’s entire family history isn’t important. But if I’m not crazy, they cut out the explanation for the cave, and that’s crazy. They didn’t include whatever monster was in the cave. They didn’t explain Inferi. They glossed over Dumbledore’s torment. I don’t think there was any sense of danger in the cave, and that’s the whole fucking point of the scene/chapter. They rushed through it.


Now, I don’t remember the book so clearly, but I seem to recall that it was a rather big deal that the motherfucking Deatheaters had gotten into Hogwarts. I’m pretty sure they fucked up some students, and a few of them died. And here, they just show up and basically leave. So ultimately, I didn’t get much out of this movie on first viewing. And there was no Voldemort, which is typically a minus.

Still none. Like Harry Potter is soooooo busy.

As for the expensive extra disc, I’m a victim of collectivitis and completism here. It’s got a sneak peek at the Deathly Hallows. And I’m sad to see that Harry is going to have a shitty haircut for his final movies. His hair in movies 5 and 6 was perfect. Pretty much perfect in 3 as well. Terrible in 4, and Deathly Hallows looks closer to that. I know he’s supposed to have unkempt hair… but in 3, 5, and 6 he just has a bloody nice haircut and it looks good. And that’s going to trump looking like a twat any day of the week. In a movie, Harry Potter is a movie star, and needs to look like a movie star. Not a hatcheted tree from The Lorax.

Wow, rant. Anyway, there’s a condescending feature hosted by two of the minor characters which is worth the behind the scenes, but not fantastic. There’s some junk about the stupid theme park, which I just seriously doubt is going to live up to expectations. It literally can’t. There are probably lots of great ideas available, but… fuck it, it’s in Florida. And Florida is a shithole that ruins everything (case in point – I’m from Florida).

The additional scenes aren’t really memorable. But then, I’m old and don’t remember anything.

Not last but certainly least is the documentary about a year in the life of Jo Rowling. Well, so they say. They don’t tell you anything much about that year, like dates for instance. Mostly, they paint a portrait of Jo as the most miserable woman who ever lived, who had to suffer through terrible hardships like family deaths and divorces. Well boo-fucking-hoo. Welcome to the life of everyone in the world. Now, I know Jo is a Morrissey fan, but at least a Smiths soundtrack would have made this watchable. The weepy violin music, not so much. This was a documentary with an agenda. And I hate those kinds of documentaries. They’re bullshit. The A&E Biography of Jo was the Lord of the Rings to this feature’s bad YouTube Gollum impression (by a three-legged cat, who has since died). I really thought this feature would be great. Instead it’s just depressing, and irritating. I am convinced Jo is NOTHING like this in her real life. She literally couldn’t be. I mean, the documentary I saw about Courtney Love made her look more stable. Watch this if you want to see someone forced to talk about their shitty past instead of being enthusiastic about being a rich genius. It’s very “Lifetime Achievement Award.” It’s very, “Hey, your whole life is over and you have no more hope or promise. How does that make you feel? Before you answer, let me poke you with a flaming stick in the eye.”

Most of the extras waste time talking down to kids who can’t afford this DVD edition in the first place. Pass unless suffering from extreme fanitis.


1 Comment »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. […] DVD Reviews #3: Harry Potter 6 (2-Disc Special Edition) « Lex … […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: