DVD Review #27: The Incredible Hulk (The 3-Disc Special Edition) (2008)

March 15, 2010 at 8:22 AM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | Leave a comment

“Holy shit, the Iron Man! Iron maaan, iron maaan, does whatever a iron caaan… You da man, Tony Stark! WOOO!!!”

As far as movies about skinny guys who become bigger and greener go, this is one of them.

[Read More → “Basically, this is what anyone would expect from a Hulk movie.”]

DVD Review #25: The Chonicles of Riddick: Pitch Black (Unrated Director’s Cut) (1999)

February 28, 2010 at 1:51 PM | Posted in DVD Reviews, Franchise Film, Horror, Sci-Fi | 1 Comment

Vin seriously urges you to consider going green.

No, this is not another Spike Lee movie. It’s a documentary about Vin Diesel’s summer vacation, where he fended off over a dozen sharks with his bare hands. Slightly dramatized.

[Read More → “It is as well-constructed and restrained as Starship Troopers is carefree and over-the-top.”]

DVD Review #24: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (Special Collector’s Edition) (2001)

February 27, 2010 at 1:54 AM | Posted in Action, Based on a Game, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | 1 Comment

Dude, I can see your crappy tattoo.

Supposedly, all video game movies suck. I’m not sure if Tomb Raider supposedly sucks or not. It’s certainly not great. The story isn’t engaging. The acting wasn’t included. But the action and effects are somewhat decent, and there are some interesting locations.

[Read More → “It’s Indiana Jones with fake boobs, big lips, guns, and techno music.”]

DVD Review #21: Jumper (Special Edition) (2008)

February 21, 2010 at 4:04 AM | Posted in Action, Based on a Book, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film, Sci-Fi | 1 Comment

“Nobody cuts off this Jedi’s motherf*cking hand!”

This is the kind of movie I wish existed, but usually doesn’t. A movie that doesn’t just go back and forth between three sets, or stay in one city we’ve seen a million times. It’s a film that’s literally all over the map. It’s an experience, not just a feature-length lie.

[Read More → “This is a wish fulfillment movie with more bells and whistles than much bigger productions…”]

DVD Review #20: Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (The Power Cosmic Edition) (2007)

February 20, 2010 at 8:40 AM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | 1 Comment

Fire boobs.

Rise of the Silver Surfer is a delightful romantic comedy about a wedding that gets gate-crashed by a New York street performer who dresses up as a robot. Actually, this movie is not that bad. It’s shorter than the previous, which is a good thing. There aren’t as many jokes. It’s a little darker. It looks slightly better. It has an actual story. The effects are better. There’s less time spent on arguing characters and setup. It has a title sequence. It’s less of a comedy and more of a comic book movie.

[Read More → “If you didn’t like the movie, this edition won’t make you like it any more.”]

DVD Review #18: Fantastic Four (Extended Edition) (2005)

February 17, 2010 at 12:24 PM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | Leave a comment

Nuff said.

I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of the Fantastic Four. I think their powers and costumes are goofy and the comics are quite garish. Which makes this movie a perfect litmus test. If this movie could make me a fan of the Fantastic Four, then it would be up there with The Crow, or any other movie that made me check out the comic source. And I can definatively say this movie did NOT make me a fan. Not even of the movie.

[Read More → “…mostly, the movie is a lot of arguing and special effects.”]

DVD Review #15: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

February 13, 2010 at 9:13 AM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | Leave a comment

Well? Stand up, dammit!

I’m not one of the “fans” who wastes time hating this movie. But I can see why they do. The word I’d use to sum up the film is “rushed.” But then, the same director is responsible for RUSH Hour, so it’s not a shocking revelation. However, it does fuck up the film.

[Read More → “Points for relentlessly and unapologetically murdering eternal fan-favorite characters.”]

DVD Review #14: The Punisher (2004)

February 13, 2010 at 6:41 AM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | Leave a comment

“What do you mean I’m supposed to have black hair and clothes? I’m acting.”

Originally, this was a film based on the book, “How to Make a Boring Action Movie,” but it was bought by Marvel, who reshot some scenes, redubbed some dialogue, and added a digital skull. Oh, I’m kidding. That’s way more effort than went into this movie.

[Read More → “Perhaps a better name for Frank would be Captain Patience: The Overcomplicated Avenger.”]

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