DVD Review #25: The Chonicles of Riddick: Pitch Black (Unrated Director’s Cut) (1999)

February 28, 2010 at 1:51 PM | Posted in DVD Reviews, Franchise Film, Horror, Sci-Fi | 1 Comment

Vin seriously urges you to consider going green.

Preface:
No, this is not another Spike Lee movie. It’s a documentary about Vin Diesel’s summer vacation, where he fended off over a dozen sharks with his bare hands. Slightly dramatized.

[Read More → “It is as well-constructed and restrained as Starship Troopers is carefree and over-the-top.”]

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DVD Review #23: The Mist (Two-Disc Collector’s Edition) (2007)

February 22, 2010 at 8:02 AM | Posted in Based on a Book, DVD Reviews, Horror | Leave a comment

It’s not revenge… it’s nourishment.

Movie:
I don’t know what makes a great horror movie, because I don’t know what “great horror” is. I don’t get scared by horror movies. I did get annoyed by Blair Witch. I get bored by bad movies. But I get excited by good ones. I know what makes a great Stephen King adaptation. So I know this is a great Stephen King horror movie.

[Read More → “…the best horror film since John Carpenter’s remake of The Thing.”]

DVD Review #5: My Name is Bruce (2007)

January 26, 2010 at 10:49 AM | Posted in Comedy, DVD Reviews, Horror | Leave a comment

The famous, “Where’s my boooooze?” scene from Drunky Trunkerson: Monster Fighter.

Movie:
This is a muddle of a movie. It’s not funny enough to be a comedy, but it’s not scary enough to be a horror movie. I mean, it’s rated R for “language and some violence.” SOME violence? There are a handful of good jokes here and a couple of forced references, but ironically Bruce made a movie about himself about as bad as all of his other movies. There’s real pacing problems in this, and that’s not a good thing at 84 minutes. The focus on characters and story and backstory is typical. But honestly, shallow movies are generally more entertaining. In a movie with no memorable scenes, and nothing that amusing between them, the story doesn’t mean shit. Look at UHF. Way too much focus on the cookie-cutter story. Look at Snakes on a Plane. The title says it all. There’s snakes on a plane… that’s too much plot!

[Read More → “…you probably could have made three other horror movies with what [this] cost…”]

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