DVD Review #20: Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (The Power Cosmic Edition) (2007)

February 20, 2010 at 8:40 AM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | 1 Comment

Fire boobs.

Movie:
Rise of the Silver Surfer is a delightful romantic comedy about a wedding that gets gate-crashed by a New York street performer who dresses up as a robot. Actually, this movie is not that bad. It’s shorter than the previous, which is a good thing. There aren’t as many jokes. It’s a little darker. It looks slightly better. It has an actual story. The effects are better. There’s less time spent on arguing characters and setup. It has a title sequence. It’s less of a comedy and more of a comic book movie.

[Read More → “If you didn’t like the movie, this edition won’t make you like it any more.”]

DVD Review #19: Reservoir Dogs (10th Anniversary Special Edition) (1992)

February 18, 2010 at 1:14 PM | Posted in Drama, DVD Reviews | Leave a comment

A movie good enough to reference The Silver Surfer.

Movie:
I really can’t review Reservoir Dogs. Especially not after listening to so many people talk about the movie on the DVD. I’d sound like a chattering monkey. Chatter chatter… chatter. I couldn’t possibly add anything. I can’t analyze the freakin’ movie. I can’t review good movies, especially with nothing to compare them to. All I can say is, “Wow.”

[Read More → “…I’m not feeling like this version is the most worthwhile.”]

DVD Review #18: Fantastic Four (Extended Edition) (2005)

February 17, 2010 at 12:24 PM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | Leave a comment

Nuff said.

Movie:
I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of the Fantastic Four. I think their powers and costumes are goofy and the comics are quite garish. Which makes this movie a perfect litmus test. If this movie could make me a fan of the Fantastic Four, then it would be up there with The Crow, or any other movie that made me check out the comic source. And I can definatively say this movie did NOT make me a fan. Not even of the movie.

[Read More → “…mostly, the movie is a lot of arguing and special effects.”]

DVD Review #17: Mallrats (10th Anniversary Extended Edition) (1995)

February 16, 2010 at 6:33 AM | Posted in Comedy, DVD Reviews | Leave a comment

Ben finally pays for Gigli and Daredevil.

Movie:
This movie reminds me a lot of Empire Records. I don’t think there was ever any hype about Mallrats, but it’s still entwined in the world of Kevin Smith, who has fans that, shall we say, overrate him. Empire Records is an overrated cult classic, and frankly, I didn’t find anything funny about it. It’s dull and clichéd and tries too hard and the characters are unlikeable, etc. And Mallrats reminds me of the problems that a “hip” comedy can have.

[Read More → “…wasn’t as boring as I expected…”]

DVD Review #16: Dark City (Director’s Cut) (1998)

February 16, 2010 at 6:08 AM | Posted in DVD Reviews, Sci-Fi | Leave a comment

Sometimes, don’t you feel sort of like a… mammal in a series of hallways?

Movie:
Far be it from me to deny that I once again don’t really remember the original cut of this well enough to tell what’s different. But I will say, the film isn’t any worse. There was nothing wrong with it to begin with (I don’t remember the voice-over, nor did it spoil the surprises for me), but it’s not lessened by any additional material.

[Read More → “…I wished that more films had features like this.”]

DVD Review #15: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

February 13, 2010 at 9:13 AM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | Leave a comment

Well? Stand up, dammit!

Movie:
I’m not one of the “fans” who wastes time hating this movie. But I can see why they do. The word I’d use to sum up the film is “rushed.” But then, the same director is responsible for RUSH Hour, so it’s not a shocking revelation. However, it does fuck up the film.

[Read More → “Points for relentlessly and unapologetically murdering eternal fan-favorite characters.”]

DVD Review #14: The Punisher (2004)

February 13, 2010 at 6:41 AM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | Leave a comment

“What do you mean I’m supposed to have black hair and clothes? I’m acting.”

Movie:
Originally, this was a film based on the book, “How to Make a Boring Action Movie,” but it was bought by Marvel, who reshot some scenes, redubbed some dialogue, and added a digital skull. Oh, I’m kidding. That’s way more effort than went into this movie.

[Read More → “Perhaps a better name for Frank would be Captain Patience: The Overcomplicated Avenger.”]

DVD Review #13: Ghost Rider (2-Disc Extended Cut) (2007)

February 10, 2010 at 9:01 AM | Posted in Based on a Comic, DVD Reviews, Franchise Film | Leave a comment

The special effects budget for the film was admittedly pretty low.

Movie:
I like this movie. I like movies. I don’t have a hell of a lot of patience sitting through them, as I’m supposed to be the “artistic type,” and out somewhere making stuff. But I like movies. I like cheesy movies. This is a cheesy movie. But it’s not a bad movie.

[Read More → “What kind of moron would feature a song in a comic book movie about ANOTHER COMIC BOOK CHARACTER?”]

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